July 2008 Archives

Playa Pimp, keeping his pimp hand strong.

Mama and a very excited Macon Bacon.

The mystery of the cleaning J unfolded before our very eyes!

"Um... I'm cleaning... why do you have the camera?!"

Ol' Dad's magical torn ligament.

Two babies and an infant.

Playa Pimp jams on the Kidtar ;)

It turns out that Macon Bacon is a Chip fan ;)

Ol' Dad and a positively freaked out Macon Bacon :)

Leo... it's what's for dinner!

A fresh-off-the-plane DJ-P and J discuss the dreariness of the Newark airport.

DJ-P and Ol' Dad collaborate on their upcoming album, Lots of Junk in a Box.

F and Babycakes did what they do best ;)

J ate her first Twinkie!

Babycakes whipped down her 143rd Twinkie ;)

Chilly water... cool people!

Into the mystic...

J and Zee German chilled out in the shade.

Babycakes and F got bored and decided to head out on their own adventure ;)

Ol' Dad stayed behind to hold down the fort.

K struck a pose.

Mmm... Mexican beer!

One of the boats started to float away, so the Crew went out on a rescue mission.

No one remembers much after that... ;)

The good folks from the Apple Store kept us hydrated.

As we inched toward technological bliss, the line behind us grew. There were over 600 people by 9:00!

A pre-chicken-biscuit J observes the carnage in silence.

Meanwhile, we received an update from Objective-F, our man in the trenches at Fair Oaks Mall in Fairfax, Virginia where the scene looked even harrier.

A post-chicken-biscuit J, mentally accelerated from the MSG infusion.

Although we spent a considerable amount of time activating the phones due to AT&T's usual tomfoolery, the result was a happy Ol' Dad, an ecstatic Mama, a giddy Babycakes and a tickled yet bleary-eyed J ;)

We spent the rest of the day watching ourselves roam around the house via the built-in GPS ;)

Gator is King of the Treehouse!

Whispy white clouds welcomed our arrival on the water.

Babycakes steadied herself.

J sunned herself.

V and P were born to ride.

Afterwards, V struck a manly pose. P waxed poetic.

C was eager to hit it!

Although Babycakes and P were enthralled by the action, action-junkie C merely yawned and took a quick nap.

J-Box joined the fray!

Ol' Dad and Mama got a feel for the waves.

Ol' Dad let loose a mighty Texas "Yeeeeehaaaaa!" Mama clung to the raft with a Kung-Fu death grip ;)

Mama gave the universal sign for "OMFG!!! I need a drink!!!"

Doc E, J and T were all aflutter with anticipation ;)

J busted out her first official "Yeeeeehaaaaa!"

"Hey! No more cameras!"

J needed a nap ;)

The kids refueled with some good, ol' fashioned MSG ;)

After suitable amounts of beer and Cheetos, it was time for swimming.

P entered the water in style.

After swimming, Ol' Dad, Babycakes and J decided to hit the waves again!

No, J... you turn your head away from the water ;)

A true Pisces, Babycakes contemplated the awesomeness that surrounded her.

And then it was time... for wakeboarding!

J-Box beat the waves like they owed him money.

DJ Dieter kicked it old school ;)

Ol' Dad got... um... in over his head ;)

Hey! J's got it!

Uh... never mind ;)

Step one: let your feet breathe.

Step two: take off your bra while M silently observes in awe.

Step three: participate in the nearest synchronized hair stroking event.

The kids had fun on the the "jumpy thingy" ;)

Macon Bacon seemed to be biding his time.

H and G continued the conversation curbside.

M tried to leave early but was stopped at the door when it was discovered that he couldn't feel his legs.

A cautious J-Box blasts a cap over Fred's ass.

No air holes required ;)

"Do you hear that sound, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability... it is the sound of your death."

Fred was deposited up the road behind a fence. If he comes back, I guess it was just meant to be ;)

"Hello. My name is Fred. I enjoy long moonlit walks and ripping the limbs from small arthropods. My hobbies are sucking blood and prompting onlookers into cardiac arrest."

Fred appears to have taken up residence on the rock wall just beyond our front porch. J is currently investigating which handgun to purchase.

Before diving head first into the Best Thing Ever, the crew made a pit stop at Texas Chili Parlor.

You could hear D's tongue frying!

The universal sign for "OMFG! That's H-O-T!"

After suitably torturing the newbie, it was back to Tree House for the real deal... Kölsch!

It knows what you crave.

Ol' Dad was flanked by Kölner coolness.

J, Mama and D shared a moment of beer induced bliss.

Babycakes did what she does best ;)

We assumed the worst, especially since tree house life involves coyotes and other things that go B-U-M-P in the night ;) We searched the entire lot down the ravine and up the other side to Der Gnome. We thought we'd either find him stuck somewhere or... worse :(

Luckily, after returning from a two hour search, he showed up in the driveway and trotted down to his room like nothing had happened. It turns out he had fallen into Lester's pond next door the night before. Lester found him crying and hungry and was kind enough to feed him and get him settled.

"The last thing I remember was that bitch taking me to a rave..."

After the ordeal, Duncan was treated to a steak dinner and a round of cocktails. Then we sent him off to the Crossings spa for a bath, facial and a deep tissue massage. The results speak for themselves!

"Phew! That feels better!"

"Who's the man?!"

"That's right, baby!"

The day starts with a free tour which highlights where they stick people that cause problems.

"You don't think they saw me fill up my glass, do you?!"

The Austin S&M Society uses a similar piece of equipment for Torturous Tuesdays ;)

Number 5's alive!

The source from which the free beer flows. Note the traffic jam ;)

"So what you're saying is... if I sit here long enough it'll be first Saturday again eventually? Sweet..."

An awesome DJ served up the swankage the old school way.

It's a bizarre quirk of physics... wherever there's free beer there tends to be a lot of people ;)

Flash freezing helps when it's 105 degrees :)

This place is great! Folks bring lawn chairs and arm wrestle for shade ;)

Jasper, the brewery dog, made the rounds.

A hapless would-be king slathers good ol' fashioned man-love on the Independence Pale Ale.

Nothing screams liberty like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Random sweetness can occur at anytime!

Not yet... it'll be a few more minutes ;)

The ladies love Ol' Dad ;)

And so it begins!

Aren't those Austria's colors? Oh well... fireworks must be expensive these days.

I know what you're thinking... a French braid?! Hey, they helped us win the Revolutionary War and gave us the Statue of Liberty! Not to mention pommes frites, Perrier and the poodle ;)

El Diablo arrived in a stretch Hummer with his usual entourage.

The party kicked off in the pool.

Escape routes were planned... just in case ;)

Mama was her usual perky self ;)

J took refuge in the trees.

"Now THAT'S a fire!!!"

"No, no, no... just throw a blanket on him and roll him around a bit. He'll be fine."

The paella equivalent of a spiral galaxy.

Docs E and L steered the party in the right direction with the Smack-My-Ass-And-Call-Me-Sally Hustle.

"Dude, it's all in the wrist..."

"I'm tellin' ya... you gotta kick that squid up a notch... BAM!"

While the adults drank, smacked each other's asses and set each other on fire, the kids struggled for their lives in the pool. CPS Summer Camp, here we come!

Beer's gone? The paella must be done!

J-Box illustrated where to put the hole.

J-Box prepared for the mental and physical rigors of step two.

Mmm... paella!

After dinner, C's birthday party kicked into full swing with a Thomas the Tank Engine piñata. The poor guy was ruthlessly pummeled by the kids.

The first blow caught Thomas off guard!

The second dazed him!

The third knocked him senseless!

The fourth knocked the breath out of him!

C put on his war face and went in for the kill!

Gut busted!

Barbarism at its finest.

On patrol for candy.

Counting the loot.

Conductor C!

Forever young!

Mmm... icing!

"Um... fork please!"

"Birthdays rock!"

Mmm... glucose!

Time for gifts!

"Check this out, C!"

It takes a village, yo.

Two dudes contemplate the gnarliness.

C wondered what he could possibly get into next.

Guy behavior #371: stripping down and going for a drive!

After the kids were full of cake and wallowing in the tattered remnants of wrapping paper, the adults decided to continue their portion of the evening ;)

"I claim this cake in the name of España!"

"Really, guys... I'm fine to drive!"

"Hey! Who put this damn fridge in the road?!"

T brazenly mocked the open container law.

Needless to say, the loss came as a surprise to a lot of folks, particularly those living in a certain large and economically powerful continental European country. Although we here at the Tree House were quite depressed on The Worst Day Ever, as J has started referring to it, we somehow managed to plow through the darkness and emerge on the other side.

Obviously, there were quite a few, um... beverages involved ;)

Before the match, J prepared the ceremonial Deutschland football attire ;)

Babycakes was similarly equipped.

The original deal was that the loser would eat the cake of the winning country. Yeah... that worked out well ;)

Ol' Dad and the Tree House ladies got pimped out by the good folks at Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

Initially, Playa Pimp got ready for war...

... but then he decided he was a drinker, not a fighter ;)

Ol' Dad had similar ambitions before he was snapped back to reality by J's Über-Deutscher-Kung-Fu-Death-Grip!

Proof that violence does affect children... in a good way! ;)

J and Babycakes plan their attack.

The staples of any football party.

Child rearing... the Tree House way.

We almost lost Playa Pimp to spontaneous combustion.

We don't have that many pictures of the game but Enrique Iglesias performed a great pre-match show... until Schweinsteiger sent him to the floor with a double kick to the groin.

Post-Spanish-victory J.

Umm... ditto ;)

After carefully following all the post-match loss rules, J started to feel a bit better ;)

As a matter of fact, some of the Crew got downright giggly ;)

Despite the light atmosphere, J was quick to shut down any pro-Spanish sentiments ;)

T was so excited she busted out some traditional Spanish gang symbols. She used J-Box as a prop, however, so as to avoid getting shot ;)

A contemplative J-Box listening to the Miyagi within.

"Whose house? Run's house!"

Meanwhile, thirteen approaches quickly over Wild Basin.

A suitable summary of the day's events.