She must've known we like to watch ;)
June 2008 Archives
No words can express the misery and loss that we are experiencing. To hell with pictures. This blog will remain silent for 24 hours as a tribute to the German National Team.
The last few days have been pretty exciting... The German National Team defeated Turkey and won a spot in the Euro 2008 final match, J mastered the fine European art of gluing gold stars to a t-shirt and Mama actually remembered where she parked the car.
This post is a little late so I'm not my usually annoying verbose self. We're currently preparing for the final match against Spain and this is as good as it gets ;)
Quick! Grab somethin'!
J's favorite food.
A well stocked Tree House fridge ;)
That's how Mama rolls.
One of the many talented things that Mama can do with her hands.
Umm... no.
Better... warmer...
Babycakes joined the fray and decided to whip up a Mickey Mouse pretzel!
Success!
Two lovely ladies pat out tasty treats for the Crew.
Playa Pimp cultivated the universal I'm-A-New-Dad look.
J had the quizzical look of a European in the middle of a metric conversion.
A quiet moment... brought to you by Playa Pimp Industries.
Playa Pimp prepared to receive the Conscientious-Father-of-the-Year Award ;)
An excited crowd.
Ayhan wished he could buy the world a Coke and sing a song in perfect harmony.
Jogi just wished the Turkish guy would get out of his ear.
Hot Turkish girl with a huge freakin' star on her face.
The krankenhaus team descended on an injured player.
Iodine?! No!!!
Staples, yo.
After the staples, the Turkish player felt worse than when the doctor started.
Symbolic irony.
The freaky guy from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was a Turkey fan.
Playa Pimp spoke with his eyes.
J snagged the perfect art shot!
Babycakes looked surprised at J's outlandish behavior ;)
Don't worry, dude... It's still there.
Sweatin' to the oldies...
Oh yeah... THAT'S why we're for Germany ;)
After the win, the Ecstasy took hold!
Apparently, Germany is Where the Wild Things Are!
... along with the reincarnation of Thurston Howell, III ;)
The scene in Turkey after the loss...
Ol' Dad did what he does best.
Mama did too.
Playa Pimp.
Hydration is the key!
Lovebirds.
Shady and the Baby... a new television series starting this fall on ABC!
The crew from Playa Pimp's laptop.
The aftermath.
There are exactly five things in life that make Ol' Dad get teary eyed:
2) Mama's Mojo Rolls;
3) Pop's homemade buttermilk biscuit recipe;
4) third gear in the M Roadster; and
5) Babycakes crying tears of joy.
We tapped item 5 this past weekend when we told Babycakes we're taking her to Disney World in Orlando, Florida. After we gave her the invitation, the floodgates opened and she cried, "You're the best parents ever!"
"Is this for me?"
Babycakes read every word on her own. She was excited to learn that her cousin will be coming with us!
"This is awesome, guys... you're the best parents ever!"
Babycakes is, indeed, a true Pisces ;)
Here's to you, Possum... and the good times that lie ahead!
The good folks at AustinModHouse were part of the 2008 Austin Cool House Tour this weekend. The Tour showcased energy efficient design and construction. Get an overview of the carnage here.
The view from where the drinks were ;)
G, El Domingo, Izzy and M sittin' pretty in the shade.
A very happy Izzy and M.
C and Marvin had a big lovefest on the new sod. Blind Melon Chitlin' Gnome observed in silence.
P and Babycakes helped out with construction of the AustinModHouse Pioneer Ranch Resort and Spa.
T and Mama bonded with a ceremonial glass of wine by the pool.
J chilled herself.
Ol' Dad, J-Box and C performed the manly-men ritual by the pool. So powerful was the resulting mojo that several partygoers reported going temporarily blind in one eye.
El Domingo and Master-P sat calmly, each still blind in one eye from the mojofest. A shell-shocked Master-P reeked of watermelon and hibiscus from the day's festivities.
The Crew followed up a lazy Sunday morning whipping down über-spicy XXX chili and pondering the origin of the Bloody Mary at Texas Chili Parlor with T and J-Box.
C put in an order for XXX chili, much to the amazement of parents and immediate bystanders.
The Force is strong in this one!
"I feel a little tingle right here but it's not that hot..."
After the chilifest, we watched the carnage as Spain conquered Italy. Afterwards, Babycakes and C after fired off an email to El Diablo asking him to come over and staged an anticipatory lightsaber duel. P kept his head down while reading El Diabo's reply, which said that he was busy in Málaga at the Euro 2008 afterparty. R2D2 was busy vacuuming the floor in the background.
Babycakes finished up her first summer camp on Friday. She had been studying drama with the State Theater Company at the Paramount Theater on Congress Avenue. It was almost like Meatballs but not quite ;)
The set of The Little Red Hen.
Babycakes played a puppy... and quite convincingly I think!
She perfected the puppy-dog-eyes long ago ;)
The rest of the animals were bummed when they discovered they didn't get cake.
Babycakes received her certificate and a standing ovation ;)
The certificate quickly fell out of favor, however, when Babycakes discovered the paper clips. Kids... ;)
Babycakes struck a pose!
After the performance, the kids got a full-on semi-healthy buffet ;)
Playa Pimp with the littlest member of the Crew.
In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to say anything else. But since the majority of the United States sincerely believes that American Idol is a sport worthy of ESPN coverage, I suppose more details are required ;)
The German National Team won their quarterfinal match against Portugal on Friday! Needless to say, the Crew celebrated intensely over the weekend... so much so that J checked into the hospital for mild to moderate hysteria. You'll be glad to know she's doing much now that the pink bats and thorny turtles have left her alone.
Two men enter... one man leaves!
"No, really... I get the feeling something is hanging over my head!"
"Let's see... how does this go again? Left over right, then under, then..."
No, seriously... why aren't we for Portugal?!
Germany didn't waste any time scoring a goal against the team all the talking heads favored to win. Around the 20 minute mark, Schweinsteiger slid one past Portugal old-school style!
Schweinsteiger dropped it like a toilet seat!
Pleased with the goal but without anyone to beat the hell out of, Schweinsteiger punched himself in the face repeatedly. Luckily, he's used to being pummeled so his performance was not affected.
"WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!?!? No, really... is he here? No? Can I have your number? Do you like techno?"
The Portugese fans were less than thrilled... especially the Italians who disguised themselves and pretended to be from Portugal to get into the game.
A desperate art shot from J.
Klose had an out-of-body experience following an injury. Viewing the scene from above, he wondered why the referee was checking his watch. He tried to explain that he was really injured but spirits don't have lips. Disgruntled, he returned to fleshy form and directed his aggression toward the Portugese.
Upset over the near loss of his teammate, Ballack kicked it up a notch.
J jumped up for an art shot but just couldn't make it in time. In the process, she tripped over 3.5 liters of Warsteiner just in front of her (for decorative purposes only, of course) and twisted her ankle. She is recovering nicely and is already putting together better logistics for next week's match.
The referee, on the other hand, saw everything and now harbors a secret passion that must never be told.
Ballack SMASH!!!
Upset with Germany's invincible defense, Ronaldo gave the universal sign for "OMFG!!! I need a drink!!!"
The Portugese coach seemed a bit, um... depressed ;)
"Lady, listen to me... if you say we are going to lose one more time, I will throw you off the balcony. Do you understand me?!" His wingman shot the woman a distinct he's-totally-serious-yo stare and muttered an indecipherable Steven Seagal quote.
"All day, baby... all day!"
The German lead helped Hans and Dieter emerge from a deep depression over not having enough face paint. "Do not worry, Hans... they think it means 'GER!' like a victory cry!"
Schweinsteiger made a mental note of fans that weren't cheering so he could beat them up later.
"You know guys... the banner was an awesome idea but maybe we should have hung it up after the game was over so we could actually see what's going on."
Mertesacker tried desperately to keep the ball out of the goal using the mighty power of his lungs!
Lehmann took a hit in the second half and decided to use the time to calculate how many parties he would have time to attend after they won.
"A little higher please... higher... just kiddin'! I'm fine."
J took advantage of an injured Lehmann to snag a proper art shot.
The Portugese were quite disappointed and looked to the Earth for consolation.
A humiliated Portugese fan hid his puppet in shame.
Ronaldo considered plastic surgery.
Originally intending to congratulate the Portugese on a good match, Ballack decided to just be himself and shouted, "Dude... we totally kicked your ass!"
Schweinsteiger dreamed of the riots he could join later in Underground Berlin.
Mama was completely surprised to hear the news of Germany's victory!
Now it's on to the Wednesday semifinal with Turkey!
Babycakes digs a little Franny K. Stein before sunset.
Like other girls her age, Babycakes is starting to appreciate a little privacy ;)
Another orange one in the can!
Hey... the color matches ;)
I want to pause the blog for a moment and give a shout out to someone who rarely gets credit for everything she does. Despite Ol' Dad's nonsense, this classy lady never fails to bop around the corner in the mornings with a freshly made cup of java and a French grin smile.
She's the reason Ol' Dad is sane, the reason Babycakes has any common sense at all and the real core of the Tree House. Without her, the whole thing would just fall apart.
Here's to you, Mama!
A Leo in her natural state ;)
Well, folks... the German National Team kicked the living hell out of Austria today, ensuring their spot in the Euro '08 quarter-finals! They move on to face Portugal on Thursday.
Before the match, fans were restless. J spent several hours pacing in front of the screen with a liter of Dr. Pepper and a salmon hoagie waiting for the live satellite feed. Others spent the time more ambitiously.
C'mon, guys, break it up. Vatertag was yesterday.
It's hard to tell if they're cheering for the team or the astonishingly massive flat screen television ;)
Although deeply committed to one another and having already sprung the 400 Euros for matching tribal tattoos, the couple somehow knew their relationship was forever doomed ;)
The man-with-the-greatest-job-ever suddenly exclaimed, "Damn! I used the wrong shade of green. I'm going to have to wipe all this stuff off and start over. You might want to sit down. We're going to be here a while..."
Jogi and his real estate agent tried to concentrate on the German National Anthem but they were too busy watching the girls get painted in the booth just beside the team bench.
No one had the heart to tell her it meant "French Fries."
The Crazy German Chick Association was out in force, patrolling the streets and back alleys of Austria looking for Non-Schlanders to beat utterly senseless.
Maybe thirteen isn't so bad after all...
Dr. Meuss and his brother Dr. Kleuss, evil doppelgängers of Dr. Seuss, were convinced that the Germans would win. They will win it in the rain, they will win it on a train. They will win it in Spain and on vacation in Bahrain. They will win it, don't you see, they will win it handily!
Sylvester Stallone, still jazzed from all three positive reviews of his come-out-of-retirement comeback movies Rocky Balboa and Rambo: Old Blood, was thrilled to be part of the Austrian National Team. After six months of facial reconstructive surgery, however, the best he could manage was, "Yo, Adrian!"
"It was the heat of the moment, telling me what your heart meant. Heat of the moment shone in your eyes!"
Seven Nation Army and Pixie-Sprout® prepare for glory!
The Austrian team physician was later discovered to be a cardboard standup figure. Apparently, the Austrians couldn't afford a real physician after paying the Euro2008.com advertising fee.
After being ejected from the game because of his gangsta ways, a distressed and befuddled Jogi sits with Schweinsteiger and Johan, the Underground Berlin Rave Coordinator.
J desperately tried to snatch an art shot but just couldn't hit the button in time.
The referee was taken completely by surprise when Ballack was beamed to the locker room Star Trek style.
After the half-time break and two liters of beer, the Germans seemed speedier! Something big was about to happen and we weren't going to miss it!
Schland-speed!
After a bit of toying with the Austrians, Ballack summoned forth a righteous schisa-kick from the depths of his unconscious. The result was glorious and will most likely be talked about in the quiet hallways of major universities for years to come.
There's rage and shame in those eyes. It's okay, Mikey, the turtle doesn't hurt anymore. He's in heaven now.
Frings had no choice but to stand back and watch the mysteries of the human psyche unfold around him.
Even the Austrians were amazed at the big beautiful butterfly of psychological carnage that flew past. And they invented the dungeon, so you know they're not that easily impressed!
Rave on!
Swept up in the moment, Schweinsteiger and Jogi decided to beat the bejeezus out of one another. Johan tried to restore order with his impish little man-self, failing utterly and staining his suit in the process.
"Um... actually, Chancellor, I'm a bit busy later this evening. Another time, perhaps?"
Ballack's vicious goal frustrated and humiliated the Austrians, who had no alternative but to keep chewing tobacco and looking ridiculous.
Some Austrian players, however, had a different reaction funneled their rage in a more emotional fashion.
The Austrian fans were understandably disappointed. It's a good thing the kid in the top left corner decided to bring his stash of match-day cocaine just in case...
Mid-way through the second half, even the most ardent Austrian fans were ready to concede defeat. But, seriously, it's not like their team sucked. Umm... well, okay, they sucked ;)
My advice is to go home, shower and try not to think about the 68 Euros you spent on face paint.
J, revived and showing increasing signs of life, made yet another desperate attempt to snag an art shot.
J's desperation led to a few shots she'd rather forget ;)
Happy, excited soccer fans are sweaty, stinky soccer fans. But, honestly, would you want to be the one to ruin his Shland-high by telling him he smells like a Yak?
And there it was. In the middle of J's euphoria, it came. It finally came! A proper art shot!
When the clock ran out, Germany emerged victorious. Fireworks lit up the night sky. Riots began. Goats were sacrificed. If only we could have been there for the celebration!
After the loss, a lone Austrian fan pondered his life in the grand scheme of things. Buck up, little camper! There's always law school...
Suddenly, the screen went dark and cold. There was a brief interlude to get us up to speed with a game-that-didn't-matter. It turned out that Croatia had just stomped on Poland 1:0.
At the start of the match against Croatia, the Polish cheerleading squad was surprised to learn that balls for the game were supplied by UEFA. Afterwards, they had a little trouble getting the one they brought off the field.
Those poor Polish kids were still waiting for the van that was supposed to pick them up eight days ago. It may turn out to be a good thing, though, since the BBC is rumored to have offered them a three year contract for a concept television show called Poles in Da House.
Meanwhile, back at the game-that-really-mattered, Ballack continued to celebrate the victory.
All was not perfect in the perfect in the German universe, however... Hungry Hansel, the most ruthless serial killer in continental history, was quietly stalking his next victim - a retired Turkish kabob cart dealer on vacation from Redondo Beach, California.
And that, so to speak, was that! Germany is in the quarter-finals!
The hot-as-hell Texas sun is making it difficult to do anything outdoors. Regardless, Mama and Ol' Dad spent a few hours resurrecting the landscape lights from the apocalyptic electrical storms of the past two months.
The temperature climbed to 103 degrees by afternoon so we didn't last too long. Still, there were a few other creatures stupid brave enough to be out and about.
It's hard to tell from the photo but this may be the psychotic Whippoorwill that entertains us in the evenings.
A close-up of the horizon just after the atomic-orb-o'-plenty has retired for the evening.
Doesn't the orange-red glow make you yearn for a nice glass of wine and a Zagnut?
Yet another success story on the fixit front.
Maybe it was bad juju from the upcoming Friday the 13th holiday, but the German National Team couldn't pull off a victory against Croatia. The throaty Croats snatched a 2:1 victory from the almost comatose Germans.
The team has been dealing with the grief in their own ways. J bought an AK-47 from a Russian gypsy at the Farmer's Market and started randomly shooting birds. Mama and Babycakes have been stomping on scorpions with a level of joy unseen since the days chocolate milk was plentiful in our refrigerator.
How is Ol' Dad dealing with the loss you ask? Well, I've been doing what I usually do in such circumstances... writing spoken word pieces and submitting them for publication in the Index Librorum Prohibitorum, staring into a freshly emptied wine glass and smacking Mama in places I'm not supposed to blog about ;)
It will just take time...
A ball in the rough.
In what first appeared to be a lucky break for the Germans, Croatian players spontaneously combusted at seemingly random intervals.
Up in smoke seemed to be the Croatian motto...
The tide quickly turned, however, as Lehmann decided to practice for his upcoming mime skills test in Bangladesh. As a result, the Croatians scored the initial goal.
The Croatians were ecstatic at their good fortune, so much so that they forgot they weren't wearing underwear. The poor lady in this photo suffered retinal damage from her inadvertent glance down south.
"Yup... you're right. That ball is definitely moving away from us!"
The second Croatian goal, otherwise known as the Harbinger of Death and Destruction.
Ballack, mistakenly believing he was Irish for a moment, whipped down a Guinness after the Croation goal and shouted, "Croatia... me bollocks!"
Kurányi, disgusted with the lackluster participation level of his teammates, played pocket soccer on the sidelines until being ushered into to the game by Jogi.
Increasingly infuriated by the match, J consoled herself with an art shot.
Schweinsteiger exercised the restraint and sound judgment for which he is famous by pummeling one of the Croatian players. His good intentions were rewarded with a one match suspension.